The WAIT practice helps you explore the ways you react in relationships and how your system experiences personal boundaries. Here, a boundary is understood as the way your system responds to external stimuli.
You can practise within a specific relationship or more generally across your relationships. If you choose to practise with a partner or friend, it may be helpful to let them know that you are trying something new for your own growth. This can create greater understanding and support.
When This Practice May Be Supportive
- When you feel pressure to answer immediately
- When you want to understand your bodily signals of yes and no
- When pleasing others makes your own response difficult to sense
- When exploring boundaries within a relationship
Before You Begin
Begin in a relationship or situation that feels sufficiently safe. If you practise with a partner or friend, consider telling them that you are trying a new way of pausing before responding. Start with simple requests that carry less emotional charge.
Keep a small notebook or a note on your phone available if you want to record brief observations. You may also want access to an Internal or External Resourcing practice.
Do not use this practice when delaying a response could place you or another person at risk. A bodily signal is information. It does not remove the need to consider safety, consent, responsibility, context or practical consequences.
If a situation feels coercive, threatening or destabilising, prioritise safety and seek appropriate support. You may pause or stop the practice at any time.
The Practice
When you receive an invitation, request or relevant piece of information, notice the impulse to respond immediately.
Instead of reacting at once, say to the other person, “Wait.”
Then create some physical space. This might mean taking a few steps away or leaving the shared space for a while.
Once you have stepped back, bring your attention inward. Hold the invitation, request or information lightly in your awareness while allowing most of your attention to rest on physical sensations.
Notice whether your body communicates something closer to FUCK YES, YES, NO or FUCK NO.
At first, this inquiry may feel unfamiliar or unimportant. With practice, giving yourself time to listen can help you recognise and trust your bodily signals more clearly.
Begin With Simple Requests
You can use this practice with small or significant requests. Begin with simple situations that carry less emotional charge. They are often easier to stay present with and may create more space to notice physical sensations without becoming overwhelmed by analysis or urgency.
Sensing Before Acting
This practice is about reconnecting with your awareness of boundaries. It does not require you to act on every sensation immediately.
The invitation is to develop your capacity to sense a boundary without the pressure of an immediate response or the fear of possible rejection. Over time, you may develop more confidence in responding safely and authentically.
A bodily signal is information. It does not remove the need to consider context, safety, responsibility, consent or practical consequences.
Communicating Wait
You can offer a simple indication of when you expect to respond, such as, “I will get back to you in five minutes,” or, “I will answer next week.”
Avoid detailed explanations or excuses for not responding immediately. Notice whether you feel pulled to please the other person or whether saying “Wait” creates discomfort. Observe how your body responds.
Sometimes life requires an immediate answer. That is okay. This practice is here to help you explore your patterns, not to create another rule you must follow.
If you forget or miss a moment, notice it without criticism and return to the practice when another opportunity appears. You may also choose specific situations or calmer parts of the day for practising, while leaving more challenging moments aside for now.
If Discomfort Arises
Pause the inquiry and return to resourcing. Slow your breathing and bring your attention to an area of your body that feels good, neutral or simply more at ease. Stay with that sensation until your system feels calmer.
If the discomfort feels deep, persistent or destabilising, stop the practice and seek appropriate support.
Tracking Your Experience
Consider keeping a small notebook or a note on your phone where you can record brief observations. This does not need to become detailed journaling. A few words about the situation, the sensations you noticed and the response you eventually chose may be enough to help you recognise patterns over time.
If questions or deeper discomfort emerge, you may consider whether a live or online integration session would be supportive.
After the Practice
After responding, take a moment to notice what remains present in your body. You do not need to decide whether the response was perfect. Let the experience settle and record a few words if doing so feels useful.
Reflection Invitations
- What did you notice before saying “Wait”?
- Where did you sense yes, no, uncertainty or conflict in your body?
- What changed after you created physical space?
- Did urgency, fear or the wish to please influence your response?
Returning to the Practice
Practise first with simple requests and in situations that feel sufficiently safe. Repeat whenever an appropriate opportunity arises.
If the practice becomes overwhelming or begins to feel like another obligation, pause and return to resourcing. More emotionally charged situations can remain outside the practice until you have adequate support and capacity.
Origin and Credits
Created by Giulio D’Anna as an original Healing Art practice, drawing on somatic inquiry, relational awareness and boundary work.